Not quite yet...

I am not really retired yet but am doing a lot of playing with the word. Retire - I find the word comforting, scary, and hopeful. As I am within a few months of retiring from my position of thirty-one years as a hospital chaplain, there is a sense that I have reached the goal. But then I realize that it is not “the” goal, but “a” goal… a milepost on a long journey.

As this brain of mine works at this point in time, I went to the internet to look for a definition. I found that the word retire seems to have begun in France around the 1530’s when it was used as an army retreats or withdraws.  Another wrote in 1538 "to withdraw to some place for the sake of seclusion". In 1648 it was used to describe leaving an occupation.  Other meanings early on have been "to leave company and go to bed" (1670) or in baseball "to put out" (1874). According to one source, the word “retiree” does not show up in the English language until 1945.

So what am I doing? I am indeed withdrawing…from my work as a chaplain. But I am not withdrawing from life…hardly! I am envisioning moving toward a place that is less regimented, quieter, lighter, more secluded, less stressful. The truth is that I really do not know what it will be like. To some degree it will be what I make it, but not me only but my wife as well. As Jan continues to work for at least another year in order for us to pay significantly less for medical insurance, my “retirement” will be what we make it. I will be taking over the cooking (prayers are appreciated for her as I have done little cooking since we got married). House and laundry care will be mostly mine as well, and I am looking forward to it…for now anyway. J

I am envisioning this blog as being a place for me to process, to share, to help me move what is inside to the outside where I am more closely examine it. I am not alone, as there are many who have already been here, those who are experiencing the same thing even as I write, and others who have just not gotten here yet.

The Almost But Not Quite Retired Chaplain